So we went and saw Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” tonight. And I’m gonna try not to ruin it for those who haven’t seen it yet.

First: we saw it in Imax 3D. Kick ass! Really, totally awesome. And did I mention the Tron trailer? Drools!!

So to the movie itself. I really loved it. I thought it was a great story line, acted very well, and there were several parts that instigated a few chuckles. Was it full of deep insight into society and it’s ills? no. Did it demonstrate to the viewer the struggles of humanity overcoming its limitations? no. Was it fun? hells yeah! Was Johnny Depp fun, quirky and crazy? I repeat: Hells yeah. And did I mention Alan Rickman?

So, I want a Cheshire cat. And a Bandersnatch, now that I know (remember?) what one is. Yes, I did see the Disney cartoon released umpteen (59) years ago, though not when originally released (*Wink*). And I think I read the book. I guess I just forgot the Bandersnatch. Sorry

And I might want a Jabberwocky too. I’ll get back to you on that.

Depp’s accent and demeanor were incredible. I lost his words sometimes, but I think that was part of the character. Mia Wasikowska was the perfect ingenue/rebel/lost and confused not quite little girl turned hero. Anne Hathaway was actually kinda scary as the white queen. Dare I say scarier than the “evil” red queen?

Our only negative critiques: While Depp’s character was fun and performed well, it was too close to Jack Sparrow. And Willie Wonka now that I think about it. There were times that you could not distinguish the characters and, while Depp is great in these roles, I don’t think they demonstrate his range as an actor.

Also, the ending left something out. I walked out of the theater with an overall good feeling, but felt that the last piece didn’t fall into place. As a matter of fact, the last few minutes seemed kinda rushed. And I can’t really say more without spoiling it, so send me a message if you want to know exactly what I’m talking about. Let’s just leave it at I was waiting for one more thing that just didn’t appear. Which, for those of you who saw it, “Alice” from the SyFy channel delivered.

The Official Disney Site

IMDB

That’s right, British TV, and British humor in general, is like dark chocolate. And you can only understand this statement if you are a dark chocolate fan. Here’s how it works:

The first time you try dark chocolate (usually a lower percentage of cacao, like a Special Dark bar or something, and mostly ‘cause you’ve heard the reports that it’s good for you. Chocolate, good for you? I gotta try this!) you think, “Hmm…this is kinda bitter. Not bad, just a little bitter.” Every once in a while, you’ll try another piece, until it’s not so bitter any more. Then you’ll move up to something a little stronger. Let’s say 35% cacao. This tastes pretty good to you, so next time you go for the 64% cacao. Not bad! So you’re loving life and your dark chocolate.

Then comes Easter, or whatever holiday you most enjoy receiving chocolate for, and your mother gives you the traditional milk chocolate Easter bunny. AND YOU CAN’T EAT IT! It’s too sweet and brings you no comfort what so ever.

That’s when you realize: YOU ARE RUINED. I’d guess that 75% of the generic chocolate industry and 90% of the “formed” chocolate industry (like Easter bunnies and stuff) is made up of milk chocolate. You have to search for good dark chocolate, and will probably spend more for it too.  Your friends and family give you the regular stuff, but you just can’t eat it! You don’t want to hurt their feelings, though, so you bring it to work and watch others enjoy the rich sweetness that can never more be yours.

British TV fans have already caught on to the illustration and are nodding their heads. Maybe even smiling. But let me ‘splain it to those who don’t watch British TV too much.

I recently had a friend who introduced me to Torchwood. After watching the first two seasons, I had to get Dr Who! Just to see the background of the characters. Oh yeah, AND BECAUSE IT WAS AWESOME! Brits aren’t afraid to “go there,” like Americans are, and their humor is so, well, dry? Not to mention the accents! Anywho, I’m counting the days till Children of Earth comes out.

This same friend once explained to me that American movies are geared towards 14-year-old girls (sorry for stealing your line). I had an epiphany, he was right, but it was no biggie cause every once in a while it’s fun to go back to being a 14-year-old girl. There was something exciting and eager about that age.

Then I started watching British TV. Very grown-up. Then I went and saw Transformers. All of a sudden, a story where everything works out and the guy gets the girl and everyone is happy was BORING!

And I have a feeling that, just like milk chocolate, I will never be able to go back to the simple pleasures of American cinema.

*Sigh* I might even have to shelf the romances and find some good Sci-Fi. Anyone got any Phillip K Dick or Damon Knight I could borrow?

sidenote: thanks for the 85% cacao bar. It’s a little bitter. But I bet I’ll get used to it!