Soft sounds, a chuckle, catching in my skull;
Words wash away the weariness.
Nothing artificial, no exaggeration, only
“Because it is you.”
My soul settles. And soars. And stumbles.

I shouldn’t need them, those silly sounds of acceptance.
I should know, should believe those blissfully sweet syllables.
But the bitch won’t release me.
Her jaws impale my awareness;
I’m defeated by her snarling sarcasm.
“Why you? You’re nothing. You’re unworthy of such sentiments.
What have you done to deserve them?”

I yearn to ask, to muzzle the mongrel and put her in her place,
And if I do?
Maybe you’ll answer. Maybe you’ll overlook the insanity that stalks me.
And maybe the monster will settle, for a few moments.

Or maybe you’ll realize how impossible I am,
How unworthy of anything more than your pity.
Maybe, in asking, I will offset the balance
Between desire and disgust.

I grapple with the questions, wanting not to need so much.
Why can’t I accept these wonderful words?
Why can’t I kill the bitch?

Why can’t I conceive that maybe, just maybe, I am worthy?

Questions asked so many times
As before, unanswered.
And the beast triumphs.

Please note: I actually wrotethis months ago but as we are experiencing network issues again, I figured I’d finally post it!

I am reminded today of how much our society relies on computers; and how that may not be the best thing.

I came in to work this morning, turned on my computer, and sat down to get the day started. I first called down the hall to schedule an appointment so I wouldn’t forget. “I’d be happy to. Can you call back in a few minutes, though? The computer is down.” Ah. The scheduling program is often down, and if they didn’t finish the close yesterday, they can’t access the program until it’s finished. No problem.

Then I see the little window at the bottom of my screen. “Computer offline. You cannot access the [server] drive.” Well, crap on toast. All my files are saved on the server so I can access them anywhere, because I often fill in for others at their desk and want to still be able to do my own work as well.

Ok, fine. I know IT has been working very hard on this issue, staying late all week, and I really feel for them and appreciate what they do. I’ll go online, check my email and stuff, and hope that the server’s back up by the time I get done. Oh yeah, the entire network is down (thus no access to the scheduling software, or the server) so I can’t go online. And I can’t have my co-worker, who for some reason is having no problem accessing the server or the email server, send me a file or two to work on because I cannot access the email server either. So I am currently staring at a lump of non-biodegradable plastic and wires that is glaring back at me, laughing at my frustration because I can’t get any work done. No, really, I’m wracking my brain to find something to do that doesn’t require a computer. Yeah, nada.

So I can access Word. I can type a rant to post sometime later, probably when I get home to my computer that only gives me trouble occasionally. At least at home, my IT staff is more receptive to my needs and can address issues immediately, usually because they are preventing him from going online as well. Then again, I believe he said he was working late today…

I think I should have stayed in bed this morning.

So we went and saw Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” tonight. And I’m gonna try not to ruin it for those who haven’t seen it yet.

First: we saw it in Imax 3D. Kick ass! Really, totally awesome. And did I mention the Tron trailer? Drools!!

So to the movie itself. I really loved it. I thought it was a great story line, acted very well, and there were several parts that instigated a few chuckles. Was it full of deep insight into society and it’s ills? no. Did it demonstrate to the viewer the struggles of humanity overcoming its limitations? no. Was it fun? hells yeah! Was Johnny Depp fun, quirky and crazy? I repeat: Hells yeah. And did I mention Alan Rickman?

So, I want a Cheshire cat. And a Bandersnatch, now that I know (remember?) what one is. Yes, I did see the Disney cartoon released umpteen (59) years ago, though not when originally released (*Wink*). And I think I read the book. I guess I just forgot the Bandersnatch. Sorry

And I might want a Jabberwocky too. I’ll get back to you on that.

Depp’s accent and demeanor were incredible. I lost his words sometimes, but I think that was part of the character. Mia Wasikowska was the perfect ingenue/rebel/lost and confused not quite little girl turned hero. Anne Hathaway was actually kinda scary as the white queen. Dare I say scarier than the “evil” red queen?

Our only negative critiques: While Depp’s character was fun and performed well, it was too close to Jack Sparrow. And Willie Wonka now that I think about it. There were times that you could not distinguish the characters and, while Depp is great in these roles, I don’t think they demonstrate his range as an actor.

Also, the ending left something out. I walked out of the theater with an overall good feeling, but felt that the last piece didn’t fall into place. As a matter of fact, the last few minutes seemed kinda rushed. And I can’t really say more without spoiling it, so send me a message if you want to know exactly what I’m talking about. Let’s just leave it at I was waiting for one more thing that just didn’t appear. Which, for those of you who saw it, “Alice” from the SyFy channel delivered.

The Official Disney Site

IMDB

Day 5: Cozumel, Mexico. Our last stop was Cozumel, Mexico. Mexico was….F’ing Hot! We decided to go to the ruins in Tulum, which were actually on the main land about an hour south of Playa del Carmen (two hours south of Cancun).

We had a great time, though it was extremely hot out. The ruins were neat, even though they weren’t the ones we thought they were (I guess we were thinking of Chichen Itza) and we didn’t actually get to climb any of them. Probably a good thing cause, did I mention it was hot? Our tour guides were great, both of Mayan descent. We learned a lot of the culture and people, and weren’t too terribly annoyed by all the people trying to get “tips” from the tourists for all of their native displays….though I kinda wanted to get a picture of Keith holding the giant iguana (for a small donation, or course). And the air-conditioned bus rides back and forth were awesome! It was a little warm out…

The rest of the Tulum pictures, and a little Playa del Carmen & Cozumel

Day 6: The last day we spent at sea, getting back to good old Port Canaveral. The day was relaxing. We slept a lot and hung out in the hot tub one more time. All –in-all, we had a wonderful time

and weren’t exactly ecstatic about going home. Luckily, I had a whole other week to sit around at home doing nothing and recover! Woohoo!

Day 4: Grand Cayman: Was crazy! We went on this insane tour where you go to the Turtle Farm, then the Rum Cake Factory, then Hell, then Stingray City! It was insane! First, we only had about an hour at the turtle farm, which included the 45 minute tour. We had a great time,

but I really wanted to try the turtle stew, just to try it! Oh, and Keith almost lost the camera, and his hand, when he refused to listen to the tour guide tell him that the turtles will go after anything put into the tank as they will think it’s food. But he got a great shot!

So we got to the bus on time….but no one else did! We had to wait 30 minutes for everyone else to get back. So that started us off late. Then we went to the rum cake factory…which was actually just this average-sized tourist trap. Ok, fine, I wanted to get a bunch of rum cakes anyway. Except for one small problem. In addition to the 30-40 people on our bus, there were about three other tours that stopped there at the same time! You couldn’t move, let along shop! That’s ok….we waited for everyone else AGAIN but we’ll have plenty of time after the tour to go shopping for rum cakes closer to the dock. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

On to the next stop, Hell, Grand Cayman.

It was ok. The biggest attraction was the post office/gift shop. Yeah, that time it was my fault that we stayed too late…

So then we arrive at the dock for our boat out to Stingray City. Oh yeah, it’ll be here in 10 minutes. And it’s not big enough for all of us. And the next one has a bad engine…By this time we are all a little nervous about our ship leaving without us. No, seriously! But we are assured that the company has a contract with the ship to 1. Give us our full excursion and 2. Get us on the ship. And they did. We were the 2nd to last tender….about 15 minutes after the cruise line told us the last tender would leave. Ah well, they didn’t leave us there!

The stingrays were pretty cool. It was basically a shallow sandbar, about 3-4 feet deep, and the wild stingrays hang out there because the tourists feed them. Yep, we fed them. Or at least Keith did. I stayed in the water for, oh, about 15 minutes…until about 5 stingrays the size of a patio umbrella (open people, not closed) all came up to me at once. They passed right up against my legs.

Well, except for the last one. He realized his mistake and veered off, his tail scratching my thigh. Ok, time for me to get out! Course, I got to pet Frisbee first, the tailless stingray! That’s my kind of stingray!

But Keith stayed in. He got to feed a few, too. Here’s a decent video of him feeding the stingrays.

We decided, next time, to stick with one or two spots instead of four!

Here are the rest of the pictures of Jamaica.

Day 3: Ocho Rios, Jamaica:

Was ok. We did this tour where we went to the Cobayo River Gardens and Museum and then went to Dunn’s River Falls. Let me tell you, every tour in Jamaica went to Dunn’s River falls! You can’t avoid that place!

So the first stop was the gardens, which were nice. Very well taken care of and the tour guide was pretty cool. A lot of the plants were stuff we have here in Florida, but the Banyan trees were really neat!

They also had a koi pond and a mullet pond! We received the usual “We have photos and video for sale” and were ok with that till half way through the tour we stopped for a guy who ate fire, asking for tips, and a guy with a parrot who would let you take a picture with the parrot, for a small donation of course. I didn’t know if I should be annoyed or feel bad for them!

Dunn’s River Falls was not what I expected. I thought you just walked up stairs and stuff along the falls. Checking out the scenery along the way. HELL NO! You literally walk up the falls!

The guides and your fellow group mates help you, and they were very nice. Unfortunately, half-way up my legs were shaking from the strain so bad that I was afraid I would fall and hurt myself, so I went ahead and collected our stuff to head out. “But wait! You have to do this! No chickens in my group!” my tour guide says. You see, there was this one spot where you fall back and the water is real deep so it’s safe. Oh yeah, but you need to keep a hand on your glasses. You mean the hand that was holding the water bottle or the hand that was holding the camera? Yep, you guessed it…I lost my prescription sunglasses. On vacation. Again. *sign* Maybe that’s why I had brought the goggles that were in the pack on the bus……

Obviously Keith finished the climb.

And we both had fun.Till I decided I had to go to the bathroom…which you had to go through the straw market to get to….*sigh*

Here are the rest of the pcitures from Jamaica.

Sorry for the delay…

Day 2: Labadee, Haiti: As this is a private island, we didn’t find too much to do that looked all that interesting to us, so we decided to make that our snorkeling day. OMG!

That was the best snorkeling ever! The reef hadn’t been destroyed by recent hurricanes, like in so many other places we have been, so there was a lot of different types of corals to look at, and some really awesome fish! What made it more interesting is that we recently started a reef aquarium, so we knew more about what we were seeing and had a lot of fun wishing we could bag stuff up and bring it home! Oh yeah, and the jelly fish! EVERYWHERE! Knock on wood; I haven’t been stung by one yet.

Then we walked around the island and stuff. It was really pretty awesome! They had a bunch of land hermit crabs, like everywhere.

You had to watch where you stepped so you didn’t crush the little guys. Which was again cool because they are the same type we have at home (though I think ours are bigger). We went to a place called Dragon’s Breath Peak. The wind whistles through the rocks and sounds like a Dragon Breathing, thus the name. Check out the video.

Oh yeah, and avoid the island’s straw market. No, really! They were terrible! I only went because I was collecting coins as my souvenir and I needed a Haitian coin. I think I would have been better off going to the bank in Grand Cayman and asking for Haitian money!

then we had a yummy lunch and relaxed.

Here are the rest of the pictures.

So, now that we are back from our vacation, I can post about it! Sorry this took so long, I was being lazy! As we visited 4 stops, this will be a 5 part mini-series!

We went on a 7 day Eastern Caribbean cruise on the Freedom of the Seas, visiting the cruise line’s (Royal Caribbean) private island in Haiti (Labadee); Ocho Rios, Jamaica; Grand Cayman; and Cozumel, Mexico. So here’s the break down:

Day 1: The first day we spent on the ship exploring as we headed to Haiti. And by the way, it was awesome! We got a free upgrade from the smallest, lowest cabin to one with a window overlooking the Royal Promenade. At first, I was worried about the noise and lights, but the room was soundproof (or at least I hope it was) and the curtains shut out all light (when I remembered to close them… ) Our cabin was right over the pizza shop, poor Keith.

But it was really cool to grab a slice before bed and only need to go up one flight of stairs (or one stop on the elevator, depending on how tired we were). And there was a Ben & Jerrys. And a wave rider and mini putt-putt golf course. And an ice skating rink. And a casino (of course). I learned how to play craps! Of course, I watched Keith the whole time. I lost all my gambling money at black jack. The cards hated me!

We also found out that there was a mini movie theater on the ship. I finally got to see Dark Knight. Kinda disappointing, actually. There were really great shows, including the ice skating show, and the food was awesome! Well, the pizza was ok…

And did I mention the hot tub? OMG! IT was soooo cool. For all my friends afraid of heights, ignore this picture…

on each side of the ship was a hot tub, big enough for about 15-20 people, that extended out over the sides of the ship! You look out the windows and straight down!
We obviously enjoyed the ship very much. Not only the chance to rest and get away from the world for a while, but the food and people and entertainment were great. As we expected.

Side note: Before we left on Sunday, we got to see the local sea turtle. One of the crew members said he always comes out to see the ship off. Then, about an hour later, we were still standing on the deck watching the water pass and we saw another one! He went under real fast and We didn’t get a picture, but he was sooo cute!

and go here if you want to see the rest of the pictures of us on the ship!

Many of you might be wondering why I am blogging about Christmas in August. Many of you have family members, like mine, who decide that Christmas shopping should start in January and know exactly why I have to do this now, before the official “Christmas shopping season” begins. Which, I think, is now September 1st.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the decorations, the anticipation, the smells of pine and winter (well, not quite here in Florida, but sometimes), the cooking, the time off work, the excruciating struggle to find something for everyone on your list even though you have no idea what they have and/or want and making that stomach clenching decision to purchase something and spending Christmas morning eagerly watching their faces for that spark of eagerness or dread and trying to avoid their eyes as you open gift after stupid gift that’s just going to sit on your shelf or is two sizes too big (or small) and trying to pretend that you really love it. Or even better, opening the card with the $10 gift certificate as they open the card from you with the $25 check…

I have come to the point in my life where I realize that Christmas isn’t about sweating over what gifts to get loved ones and practicing pleased surprised faces in the mirror. I’m at that place where I have what I need and can afford to get what I want, or have learned to wait until I can. I know I don’t want more knick knacks or gift certificates; I want to spend quality time with my family, appreciating who and what they are and not stressing about what they think about some silly gift or what they wasted money on for me, often money they really don’t have.

And I’ve told them this, many times.

But my family seems to be stuck into this evil spiral that love means buying stuff, or at least that’s the best way to show they love me. Or maybe it’s the rush of seeing someone’s face as they open that gorgeous gift. You know, the look I have been practicing for several years and almost have perfected. Either way, they don’t listen. They insist on purchasing silly little trinkets that I’m going to absolutely love (“Of course I do, Mom! I know exactly where I’m going to put it!” for the next 5 years until I think I can get away with packing it up and taking it to Goodwill) because they got it on sale or found it at some thrift shop (“Oh, so this lingerie was used? Thanks, it’s perfect!”). And no amount of pleading will stop them (“But I got a really good deal on it”).

Well this year I am putting my foot down. I mean it. And here’s the part for the family: Keith and I will NOT be accepting Christmas gifts this year. Any gift purchased will be returned or, if a thrift store special, will be donated to the local thrift store. And we will not be purchasing gifts for anyone either. No gift certificates or checks, with the exception of our nephew who is 5 and is entitled to and appreciates Christmas presents.

Save the money for gifts for your grandchildren (or, as the case may be, your son), or for something for yourself.

And if you feel as though you must get us something, then here are links to the charities Keith and I support. Make a donation to them in our name. We will accept the certificate they send. Any monies received from returned gifts will be going to one of the said charities, so please save us the trip to Wal-mart or the mall. Thank you.

Save the Manatees (I wear a Medium t-shirt)
Worldwide Wildlife Foundation: donate (maximize) or adopt (snow leopard or wolf)
American Red Cross
SPCA
Save the Hooters
Save the Whohas, Hooters, and Weewees
Save the Puppies

Instead of gift exchanges, we just want to spend some time with you. Preferably time with the TV off. We’ll go to dinner, or I’ll cook, whichever. Life’s too short to waste time in over-crowded stores fighting with the insane monsters people become at Christmas sweating over a gift the recipient’s not going to want or need anyway. Life should be spent enjoying the company of those you love.

PS: This, of course, does not apply to birthdays. Mine just happens to be 2 weeks after Christmas, but who’s counting?

Data entry is a devious little monster. You sit there for hours at a time, your mind slowly melting into mush at the repetitive “point, click, point, click, type….point, click…..”.

Hey, maybe the aliens from Hulu are on the wrong track. They should make people input random letters and numbers while pointing and clicking in a million different places if they really want people’s brains to rot. They could make it a password set up or something, and make us change our passwords every 30 days so we have to do it all again. Wait, it gets better! They can give us actual data from some company and have us do the data entry for the company that’s paying them for the service, rotting our brain and getting paid in human money at the same time!! Mwahahahah.

So the deceptive part of data entry: here you are typing (point, click) away and slowly losing focus on the world around you. In defense, your brain tries to kick in to another subject, like blogging and all that, and all of a sudden you are making mistakes and your fingers (point, click) don’t want to input what you are telling them to! It’s an evil, mutant mess! And boring as hell!! I do not envy those people who do this for a living.

Media quote for the day: “They’re here!”-The Poltergeist