Thinking about starting a garden and not sure what you want to plant? Or maybe you want to make your home more eco-friendly and increase its resale value. Or maybe you’re like me: life and work are just too stressful, you need some kind of relaxing activity and a place to go to recharge yourself and feel closer to the earth. Then you should create a butterfly garden.

Butterfly gardens aren’t complicated, or at least not any more than any other garden. They provide habitats for many different animals, not just butterflies. And they provide year-round entertainment and enjoyment for the whole family, including great learning and growing experiences for children of all ages.

Finding the perfect spot
The first step to creating a butterfly garden is deciding where you want to put it. Find an area around your property that receives plenty of sunlight and can be separated from overexcited and/or digging pets. The area should be easy to access by people and watering hoses.

Common excuse to get out of making a butterfly garden: I live in an apartment or don’t have the room.
Many plants do very well, or can be adapted to do well, in pots. If you have a windowsill or two, you have room for a butterfly garden.

Make sure to call your local line-finder to mark any power/telephone/cables lines so you don’t accidentally cut them while planting (I swear the stupid thing looked like a root, it had branches and stuff! Why didn’t he say something before I cut it???).

Research, research, and more research!
Finding the right plants will have a huge impact on the success and ease of care for your butterfly garden. Butterflies need more than just pretty flowers. Specific butterflies eat specific foods, lay eggs on specific plants, and their larva require specific host plants to eat. So the first step in planning your garden is to determine what kinds of butterflies you want to attract and find out what they, and their larvae, eat. Go to your local library or agricultural office (Or their website) and find out what butterflies live in your area. I found all the information I needed at UF’s IFAC extension office website, which also has some great butterfly gardening info.

I understand that all of the butterflies are beautiful, and you want to attract them all, but remember that space is limited and not all butterflies live in your habitat. For instance, I can plant all of the Wild Lime trees I want, but if I live on the beach, with no tropical hardwood hammocks within 50 miles, I will not attract Schaus’ Swallowtail (Heraclides [Papilio] aristodemus ponceanus). So pay attention to plants that attract multiple kinds of butterflies and notice that you may already have some butterfly attractors in your immediate area. For instance, the Banded Hairstreak (Satyrium calanus) larvae need oak trees, like the large one in my front yard. Your garden can also be multi-purpose. Many larval species like herbs, fruits, and vegetables. So, you can include those plants for yourself and the butterflies. Just remember: you’ll need more than one plant if you want to have some for yourselves: caterpillars are ferocious eaters.

Make sure to document several types of larval foods for each species you want to attract. If you are a planner (as opposed to a free thinker) an Excel spreadsheet may be useful. If you are a free-thinker, make note that several species eat the same or similar foods and note those plants. Don’t worry that you are over-planning or not getting to include the colorful, beautifully smelling flowers you love: you’ll be saving room for the “pretty” flowers as most butterflies eat nectar and need those pretty flowers too.

Plant Shopping
Now that you know what kinds of butterflies you want to attract, and what their larvea like to eat, you can start planning your garden. Look at the plants you have chosen for butterfly attracters: how tall and/or large do they get? When do they bloom? How often? Are they annuals (bloom one season then die) or perennials (continue coming back every year)? What are their sun requirements? Do they have flowers, and if so what kind (Large, small, open, tube-shaped, clustered) and color? When creating any garden, you want to put taller plants in the back, shorter ground cover in the front. You want to make sure each plant gets the light they need, and you want to aim for blooms all year long. For instance, if you plant seven different types of flowers, but they all bloom from March-July, then you’ll have no butterflies from August-February. People in very cold climates may experience this problem, but aim to spread out blooming periods for as long as possible. In addition to your butterfly attracters, you will need nectar flowers so the butterflies can eat. Here’s where you can add your favorite flowering plant. Your goal here is to plant as many different colors and types of flower as possible within your space to attract all of the different kinds of butterflies you can.

The single most important item to consider when looking for and purchasing plants: ARE THEY NATIVE TO YOUR AREA? Native plants are easier to maintain, more productive, and often less expensive. Many, if not all, of the butterfly attractive plants you discovered will be native to your area, especially if you went to your nearest agricultural center or website. And ease of use is not the only reason to stay native. Imported plants have become more and more of a nuisance, overcrowding and killing off native species, sometimes to the verge of extinction. Others will not prosper, no matter how hard you work, because the do not get the minerals they need from your soil or because they are not resistant to the insects in your area. Then there’s the whole cold/warm equation! Not sure what plants are native? Ask your Agricultural center or local nursery. You can even try Home Depot or Lowe’s! If their plant experts are worth anything, they’ll know what plants are native to your area. And their websites have great how-to’s and ideas for all aspects of your home and garden.

Take the opportunity, if you haven’t already, to visit your local agricultural center. They may have annual or semi-annual plant sales, where you can get great local plants for very little money. Whether I need something or not, I go to the semi-annual Master Gardner’s plant sale at the UF Extension Discovery Garden right down the road from me. And I always find something, too!

Common excuse to get out of making a butterfly garden: I have a black thumb: I’m a terrible gardener and everything I touch dies.
Actually, I have this problem too. Even with my relatively successful garden, I lose 2-3 plants per planting. I just forget to water them! That’s one of the greatest benefits of using native plants species. They are used to the conditions in your garden and will thrive in it. And don’t be afraid of weeds! I have a beautiful “weed,” which is actually a wild lantana, that thrives no matter what I do to it (freezes, excessive pruning, no water, even dug it up and replanted it) and the butterflies love it! I also buy the seed packs of “wildflower mixes,” or “butterfly mixes” whenever I see them on sale or in the discount stores. Sure, they may be out of date and/or cheap, but I can throw some in a pot with water and I don’t care what grows, I didn’t spend that much on them.

And now the most fun part! If you are a planner (as opposed to a free thinker), pull out your garden measurements and a sheet (or three) of graph paper. If you are a free-thinker, go shopping! But remember the kinds of plants and colors you are looking for! And don’t be discouraged if you can’t find all you want right away: you can always add later (as long as you left room) and (unfortunately) not all of your plants will survive. If you live in a colder climate, the winter may kill off a number of your more sensitive plants, so you can always add the ones you missed next year!

Planting
Now that you have all of your plants, the real fun (or work, depending on how you see it) begins. Check out Home Depot’s know-how section for great ideas on how to plant your flowers. It has some great tips on which plants to select while shopping! Here, however, is how I did it (the idiot’s version): gather all the potted plants and bring them into your garden area (You may want to use a wheelbarrow, if you can, so you don’t have to make 100 trips. I can’t, use a wheelbarrow that is.) Spend a few hours arranging the pots into the best possible sun/shade/height/width/color arrangement you can (you may want to start this very early so you can plant before it gets too hot, or mid-afternoon so you can plant before the sun goes down. Hell, take two days!). Make sure to leave plenty of room between the plants for expansion (oops, forgot that part…Make your plant area bigger! He didn’t really need that shed, right?) Starting on one end, wiggle the pot in the dirt to make an impression. Move the plant and dig a hole slightly wider than the impression. Here’s the hard part: the hole should be as deep as the plant is in the pot, not as deep as the pot (my poor plants keep drowning). You can even make it a little shallower. *** Moosh (yes, it’s a word) the pot to loosen the dirt and plant inside. With one hand over the plant, flip the pot and the plant should slide out (do this over the hole in case you get a lot of loose dirt). Moosh the bottom of the plant a little to loosen the roots. Plop (ok, gently place) the root end of the plant in your hole (not the green part) and fill in the area around it. Push down around the plant with your hands to make sure it is firmly in the ground. Continue this process until all of your plants are in the ground. Water them well. NEVER WATER YOUR PLANTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. You’ve heard it before, but here’s why: watering in the middle of the day not only wastes water because the sun will evaporate it before the plant can absorb it, water droplets in the sun act a lot like a magnifying glass. You remember what magnifying glasses do to ants? Well, water droplets can do the same to your leaves (though on a less dramatic level, no actual bursting into flames here).

Now you’re done! Um, well, except for the watering and feeding part!

Watering and Feeding (and pest control too)
If you don’t have a sprinkler system and don’t want to lug out a hose every day, consider setting up a drip-irrigation system. Drip irrigation systems are much better for the environment than a standard sprinkler, or even hand watering, because they deliver water directly to the plant in small amounts over longer periods of time, enabling the water to get to the roots of the plant and eliminating waste.

You should also consider setting up a rain barrel to water your butterfly garden. I used an old 5 gallon bucket I had (used to be full of sunflower seeds)and put it under the downspout in the back yard. I took a ½ gallon milk jug, poked several small holes (with a small nail) in the lid, and had my very own recycled watering can and water supply.

Your butterflies will also need water. The rain bucket will supply such water, unless of course you want to add a water feature to your backyard. According to my husband, water features add value to your home. I think he was just saying that to get me to agree. Again, make sure that you call the underground line finders before starting your project (guess how I found out the “branch” was a cable…When we dug up the other end!!).

And don’t worry so much about feeding your plants. Remember, if they are native species, they’ll do just fine with the soil that’s in your garden. If you do want to add a little something, though, try some worm tea. Worm tea (or castings) is a natural, organic fertilizer and pesticide and herbicide. There are many places to get worm tea; I usually go to my local flea market. You can even think about setting up your own worm farm.

*** If you do get some worm tea, you can poor some in the hole before you plant to give your plants a little boost.

Now your butterfly garden is all set up. Sit back, relax, and enjoy all of the wild nature that comes to visit!

Just an FYI, I wrote this a few years back for Starryskye, I’m sure you can find it on her site. I apologize, it’s late, so I didn’t really reread and edit this. :p

Check out starryskye’s blog, she has a lot of great info on a wide variety of topics!

One of the things on my bucket list was to get my Scuba certification. Why? Honestly, I’m not sure. I love to swim. Keith loves to look at underwater wildlife. And once you have it, you’re always certified. And we love snorkeling and Snuba diving. Well, he loves it. I like it. Regardless, I can cross that off my list. I am certified as an Open Water Scuba Diver.

For those who don’t know, obtaining an Open Water Scuba certification requires three things: class work (learn the basics of Scuba diving), closed water dives (learn and practice the basic skills in a shallow, calm water environment) and open water (four dives at least 20 minutes and 15’).

Keith and I decided to get certified as our vacation this year. We decided last month and I wanted to do it before the cold season, so we were a little rushed. We chose Bird’s Dive Center, one of my coworkers knows the owner, and can you believe it’s the slow season? As long as we had two people for the class, it wouldn’t be a private session so no outrageous fees and no waiting for someone else’s schedule, though there was someone waiting for a group. Only three people in the class? Can’t beat that!

Note: when learning skills that can/will save your life and prevent you from doing something stupid 60-90′ underwater, a small class is a good thing.

We did our class work online, at our own pace with plenty of opportunity to review (we can access the program for the next six months) and we didn’t have to worry about driving back and forth to a dive center weekdays after work for three to six weeks. And Bird was available via email or phone and someone at his shop answered every question we had (one incorrectly). We both passed our final exam with three days left and were getting rather excited.

Day 1: We drove to Crystal River Friday night and stayed in a cheap ass hotel just down the road from Bird’s. We stayed up as late as we could so we’d sleep. I woke up at 4:30, 5:00, 5:45, 6:30 and 7:40 AM. The alarm was set for 8. We got up, showered, ate the bagels I brought, and headed out. Oh, and no coffee. The cheap ass coffee maker in the room brewed this pathetic coffee colored water. I opened the top to remove the grounds and found out why: all the water had stayed in the filter basket. *Sigh*

We arrived at Bird’s 15 minutes early and introduced ourselves. Bill himself was going to be our instructor! Woohoo!! We sorted out our paperwork (see incorrect instructions, but easily fixed) and turned to be introduced to a young couple that was in the store. Hmm, I wonder who they are……

Our other person was a no-go. I have no idea why. However, meet Joey and Katie. They will be taking the class with you. Perfect. Both are in their early 20’s. Both are fit. And trim. And I am in my nasty-ass bathing suit I wear to the Y for water aerobics with the senior citizens and oh yeah, I’m bloated and nasty because mother nature decided to bring her favorite gift two days early. Great.

During the training, I forced myself not to stare at Joey’s rather nice chest when he wasn’t wearing his wetsuit. I think I did a decent job. What do you think sweetie?

We got our gear and finished the paperwork and off we go to the boat and our first lesson: how to set up your equipment.

Usually the closed water dives are done in a swimming pool. Bird’s Underwater, Inc. is located right on Crystal River. Instead of a boring pool, we went to an area called “Three Sister’s Springs.” It’s a shallow, calm area where three springs are located close together. We dropped anchor, climbed into our gear, tested everything, and practiced our first entry: a controlled seated entry. If Bill hadn’t been behind me helping, I don’t think I could have pushed myself off the boat and into the water with all that weight! And the water was cold! 72-75 degrees. Here’s the crazy part: I am always cold. The last time I wore a wetsuit, I was freezing most of the time (the water was 72, but the air was 40-50 degrees). I expected to be chattering my teeth the entire time.

Once my hands and feet warmed up, I was fine. No, seriously, not cold at all. IT WAS GREAT!!!!

Everyone got in the water, deflated our BC’s, and followed Bill through some pilings and back into the spring. In case you missed it: we were Scuba diving!! As Joey said, “I was breathing underwater!” It took a minute to sink it, but once I got over the “OMG where are the alligators?” (Bill said there weren’t any, but who can believe him?) I took the opportunity to look around. It was incredible! The water was so clear (And my prescription mask was clear so I could see). We saw several small and medium fishes (don’t tell Katie) and leaves and tree roots and rocks and….well, you get the idea. We made our way to an area where we could stand. Bill demonstrated several of the skills we had to learn and each of us had to do them while he watched. I panicked once or twice, specifically when I had to remove and find my regulator. See, when at depth, you have to keep breathing so you don’t build up nitrogen in your body (decompress). Either exhale or inhale, you have to keep air flowing. So if you lose your regulator, you have to exhale until you get air. If you exhale too fast…, I bet you can guess what’ll happen. And yeah, I was an oxygen hog my first day. And the clearing and replacing your mask while underwater part wasn’t fun. Water gets up your nose no matter what you do and my damn mask didn’t want to go back over my head! But I remembered to stay calm, keep breathing, and take my time (and I only used a third of my air supply trying to remember to breathe calmly).

We practiced and demonstrated a majority of the required skills and swam back to the boat for lunch. Poor Katie was freezing! And I had to pee sssoooo bad. After getting into the boat and removing the BC, I pulled my wetsuit down to my knees and climbed back into the water. Did I mention the boat had no bathroom? Yeah, it was your basic pontoon boat. So Bill’s laughing at me because, um, 75 degrees is cold!!! But I did what I had to do and back in the boat to eat. We sat around talking, eating, playing with the neighboring boat owner’s puppy (her first swimming trip). We had just finished eating when Bill says, “Ready to go back in?” Katie’s still shivering and I’m thinking “Aren’t you supposed to wait 30 minutes before swimming?” So I stalled. No, really, I did feel a little queasy. Yes, it was nerves, but.

My stomach settled and back into our gear. I have to pee. Did I mention I have a very suggestive bladder? And I’d been surrounded by water all day? Oh well, I can hold it, right?

Back in the water, we swim around for 30 minutes and work on buoyancy control. I suck at buoyancy. But it was awesome! We swam into different areas and I saw these freshwater fish that look a lot like wrasses and several large crabs! And BTW: We were breathing underwater!! Then back to the shallow area. “We have a few more skills to do before we call it a day. Shit, I have to pee. No really. After the 2nd skill it was painful. But it’s all good, two more and we can call it a day. I can do this.

For all my RLC friends who were grossed out by peeing in the shower….try it in a wetsuit.

All weekend the guys were trying to convince me it’s a good thing: warms up the suit. And it does. But you know why your suit is warm. And the smell, when you get out of the water, just kinda stays there. Then you’re driving home wondering why something smells funny and you realize that to get into your wetsuit it has to go through your bathing suit and you didn’t realize so you’ve been sitting in your car for two hours in a dirty bathing suit.

I have to wash my car seat cover.

Back to SCUBA. We mastered the last skills and back to the boat and, oh yeah, one more thing. Wha? Well, you have to demonstrate that you can swim. WTF? Seriously? What have we been doing for the last four hours? You have to swim to this dock and back twice and tread water for 10 minutes to demonstrate that you can swim. And we’ve been in and out of the water, swimming, with 50ish pounds of gear on our backs for four hours? Actually, it wasn’t that bad. And no wetsuit in the way when I had to pee again. And the current was going the other way.

We go back to the shop and unload and get directions to where we are meeting the next day and go back to the hotel to shower and change and big steak dinner with shrimp and an appetizer and I was out by 10:30ish.

Day two: The Blue Grotto

We arrived an hour early at the Blue Grotto, which is literally in the middle of nowhere, no cell reception and dirt roads nowhere. It’s ok, I had coffee with breakfast: bathroom!!

When you know that you have a suggestive, small bladder, you take every opportunity to pee. I used the toilet before going into the water, after coming out, and any time I felt the slightest inclination. And I still had an “accident” in the wetsuit and another trying to get it off.

Bill arrived and we unload and got our gear set while we waited for Katie and Joey. Joey is a bartender in Orlando on the weekends so he got maybe 4 hours of sleep the entire weekend. Everyone’s ready and then Bill tells us, “I’m working with an advanced class today, too.” Whoa, you’re working with an advanced class and us? So you’re gonna leave us on our own? “My wife is coming out to help.” Whew.

His wife (sorry, can’t remember her name) was awesome! Really laid back but helpful and nice and…well, she was great. And she agreed with the guys re: bathroom issues. I was the only one who saw something wrong with it. The girl who pees in the shower. Go figure.

The Blue Grotto is a beautiful limestone sinkhole. You climb down these stairs to get to the water and the walls of the sinkhole are pock-marked and lacy and the water is beautiful blue. There was another group (or two) there to do their open water training and I thought we wouldn’t all fit. We had to watch a video that told us that the bottom is VERY silty so buoyancy control is muy importante as touching the bottom will stir up the silt and no one can see. The Grotto has a cavern at about 30’ that goes back into a cave. Open water divers may go into the cavern up to “Peace Rock” but no farther (not trained or certified for cave diving). There are platforms at 15’ and 30’ where divers can rest/kneel/work on skills without stirring up the silt.

The water was very clear. We practiced buoyancy and worked on the last couple of skills. After about 20 minutes, we took a 10 minute out of water break. Then we practiced our last skill (a “Giant Stride” entry) and dove for 20 minutes. Then out of the water, lunch, new tanks, and one more 20 minute dive to basically work on buoyancy (Brandie) and have fun.

The advanced class was learning how to use underwater scooter things and how to take video underwater. After they were done we were allowed to play with the scooter so the guys (and Katie) enjoyed that. Also, they took video of us! So, bonus: we have video!! Unfortunately, the grotto was kinda boring, especially if you aren’t interested in caverns and prefer wildlife. We did see a blind crayfish. And a few minnows. That was it. Keith knows he isn’t interested in cave diving. Woot! We scooted around for 20 minutes and took lotsa pictures of everyone and had fun breathing underwater. Oh yeah, they have an air bell at 30’ just inside the cavern. For emergencies. It was cool to check it out and get an idea of what an air bell is in case.

We got out, packed up our gear, completed our paperwork and log books, and headed back to Bird’s to get our cards (and video). Birds, BTW, is an awesome store. When we went on the Manatee tour for my birthday last year, I was disappointed because the shop we went out of had very few manatee souvenirs. Bird had manatee stuff everywhere! I got a wine cork (which I needed) and manatee pajamas to commemorate our vacation. We are so going back for our gear (once I convince Keith we need to get it) and when we do the manatee tour again.

And we are now certified to breathe underwater. Who wants to go diving?

The rest of the pictures.

Never make an assumption regarding how someone will feel or what they will think. Ask. Their answer may just surprise you.

Life lesson for this week:

Life is simple. Don’t overthink it.

“Hey Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“I dunno, I just don’t feel well.” Oh shit. Wait a minute. Pull out my iPhone and check out my handy little app, cause I’m not on the pill anymore so god only knows. Yep, that’s right. Sometime next week I will be on my menstrual period. *Beep*

Why men can’t keep their own calendar, I’ll never know. I actually asked my husband if he wanted me to install the app on his phone and plug in the data. “No, I don’t want to deal with it. You just keep telling me.” You don’t want to deal with it? How the *beep* do you think I feel? And I only tell you so that when I go psycho, you don’t ask me that ever stupid and irritating question, “What’s wrong Sweetie?”

I hate answering that question with, “Well, I’ll be starting my period soon.” It sounds like a cop-out to me. Every day, thousands of women all across the world are dealing with the various signs and symptoms that go along with the joy of the female reproductive cycle. They manage it with grace and dignity, never revealing their discomfort (or crazed lunatic behaviors) to those around them. Why can’t I be like them? Maybe if I try really hard, I can breeze through each month as if huge hormone and blood losses are no big deal.

Yeah, you can stop laughing now.

No, really, stop.

Ignore her.

And here’s the part that knocks my planet out of orbit: each cycle is different. If I knew that I was going to be depressed two days before I started, then when I got depressed (Or when I saw that I am starting soon cause I actually pulled out the stupid app to check) I would know why and could tell myself that those nasty little voices whispering that I am a worthless piece of shit not fit to live on the planet and how the hell can I call myself human if I make that same mistake over and over and of course he hates me because I am a loser psycho hose beast (Does anyone know where I picked up that expression? What is a psycho hose beast?) *deep breath* are nothing more than a severe drop in hormone levels and will pass in a week. Or two. But three weeks later, I feel great, fine, really. But GD it someone needs to get me chocolate chip cookies and sunflower seeds and a pint (or three) of Ben & Jerry’s. Like yesterday, dude. No, I’m not going to the store to get it! I refuse to get out of my pajamas, and I’m not allowed to go to the store in my PJs. Yes that was a shout out. Love you all!

And the next month I will be irritable and bitchy, angry at the world, sometimes for no reason, though I usually come up with one. “Why can’t you put your dirty clothes away?” “Why can’t you answer your GD email?” “Why the *beep* can’t people drive.” You get the idea.

Or the next month I’ll spend curled up in bed, hiding under the covers, sobbing my eyes out. “What’s wrong Sweetie?” I have no *beeping* clue. “Well, what can I do to help?” Go the *beep* away. “Talk to me Sweetie.” Listen, if I knew what the *beep* was the matter, I’d tell you. But I don’t. So go away. Before I get mad. And then you’ll hear about it. And then you’ll get mad at me and I’ll fell like a psycho hose beast and….just go the *beep* away please.

So guys: We have no idea what’s wrong. It always changes. We can’t tell you why or what’s going to happen. Half the time I don’t figure out till three days later that I was pissed off because “Mother Nature” was gracing me with her beloved gift. Bitch. And even when I know what’s going on (because hey, I’ve been bleeding for three days now) I am not always aware that THAT is the reason why I hate you and the entire world and everyone, myself included, is a stupid dumbass.

Maybe those “ancient” civilizations that practiced menstrual seclusion had the right idea. Spending a week by myself, away from annoying men and stupid people, embracing my moody discomfort with nothing more than a few cheesy romance novels, a tub and bubble bath, a comfy bed with a few boxes of tissues, and a freezer full of Ben & Jerry’s sounds like a great idea to me.

Oh, and by the way: for those bitches who are post-menopausal or have had all their plumbing removed, shut up. No, really, I don’t want to hear about how you don’t have that problem anymore. I kinda hate you at the moment. Cause the Bitch Period is in da house!

Soft sounds, a chuckle, catching in my skull;
Words wash away the weariness.
Nothing artificial, no exaggeration, only
“Because it is you.”
My soul settles. And soars. And stumbles.

I shouldn’t need them, those silly sounds of acceptance.
I should know, should believe those blissfully sweet syllables.
But the bitch won’t release me.
Her jaws impale my awareness;
I’m defeated by her snarling sarcasm.
“Why you? You’re nothing. You’re unworthy of such sentiments.
What have you done to deserve them?”

I yearn to ask, to muzzle the mongrel and put her in her place,
And if I do?
Maybe you’ll answer. Maybe you’ll overlook the insanity that stalks me.
And maybe the monster will settle, for a few moments.

Or maybe you’ll realize how impossible I am,
How unworthy of anything more than your pity.
Maybe, in asking, I will offset the balance
Between desire and disgust.

I grapple with the questions, wanting not to need so much.
Why can’t I accept these wonderful words?
Why can’t I kill the bitch?

Why can’t I conceive that maybe, just maybe, I am worthy?

Questions asked so many times
As before, unanswered.
And the beast triumphs.

Please note: I actually wrotethis months ago but as we are experiencing network issues again, I figured I’d finally post it!

I am reminded today of how much our society relies on computers; and how that may not be the best thing.

I came in to work this morning, turned on my computer, and sat down to get the day started. I first called down the hall to schedule an appointment so I wouldn’t forget. “I’d be happy to. Can you call back in a few minutes, though? The computer is down.” Ah. The scheduling program is often down, and if they didn’t finish the close yesterday, they can’t access the program until it’s finished. No problem.

Then I see the little window at the bottom of my screen. “Computer offline. You cannot access the [server] drive.” Well, crap on toast. All my files are saved on the server so I can access them anywhere, because I often fill in for others at their desk and want to still be able to do my own work as well.

Ok, fine. I know IT has been working very hard on this issue, staying late all week, and I really feel for them and appreciate what they do. I’ll go online, check my email and stuff, and hope that the server’s back up by the time I get done. Oh yeah, the entire network is down (thus no access to the scheduling software, or the server) so I can’t go online. And I can’t have my co-worker, who for some reason is having no problem accessing the server or the email server, send me a file or two to work on because I cannot access the email server either. So I am currently staring at a lump of non-biodegradable plastic and wires that is glaring back at me, laughing at my frustration because I can’t get any work done. No, really, I’m wracking my brain to find something to do that doesn’t require a computer. Yeah, nada.

So I can access Word. I can type a rant to post sometime later, probably when I get home to my computer that only gives me trouble occasionally. At least at home, my IT staff is more receptive to my needs and can address issues immediately, usually because they are preventing him from going online as well. Then again, I believe he said he was working late today…

I think I should have stayed in bed this morning.

So we went and saw Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” tonight. And I’m gonna try not to ruin it for those who haven’t seen it yet.

First: we saw it in Imax 3D. Kick ass! Really, totally awesome. And did I mention the Tron trailer? Drools!!

So to the movie itself. I really loved it. I thought it was a great story line, acted very well, and there were several parts that instigated a few chuckles. Was it full of deep insight into society and it’s ills? no. Did it demonstrate to the viewer the struggles of humanity overcoming its limitations? no. Was it fun? hells yeah! Was Johnny Depp fun, quirky and crazy? I repeat: Hells yeah. And did I mention Alan Rickman?

So, I want a Cheshire cat. And a Bandersnatch, now that I know (remember?) what one is. Yes, I did see the Disney cartoon released umpteen (59) years ago, though not when originally released (*Wink*). And I think I read the book. I guess I just forgot the Bandersnatch. Sorry

And I might want a Jabberwocky too. I’ll get back to you on that.

Depp’s accent and demeanor were incredible. I lost his words sometimes, but I think that was part of the character. Mia Wasikowska was the perfect ingenue/rebel/lost and confused not quite little girl turned hero. Anne Hathaway was actually kinda scary as the white queen. Dare I say scarier than the “evil” red queen?

Our only negative critiques: While Depp’s character was fun and performed well, it was too close to Jack Sparrow. And Willie Wonka now that I think about it. There were times that you could not distinguish the characters and, while Depp is great in these roles, I don’t think they demonstrate his range as an actor.

Also, the ending left something out. I walked out of the theater with an overall good feeling, but felt that the last piece didn’t fall into place. As a matter of fact, the last few minutes seemed kinda rushed. And I can’t really say more without spoiling it, so send me a message if you want to know exactly what I’m talking about. Let’s just leave it at I was waiting for one more thing that just didn’t appear. Which, for those of you who saw it, “Alice” from the SyFy channel delivered.

The Official Disney Site

IMDB

Day 5: Cozumel, Mexico. Our last stop was Cozumel, Mexico. Mexico was….F’ing Hot! We decided to go to the ruins in Tulum, which were actually on the main land about an hour south of Playa del Carmen (two hours south of Cancun).

We had a great time, though it was extremely hot out. The ruins were neat, even though they weren’t the ones we thought they were (I guess we were thinking of Chichen Itza) and we didn’t actually get to climb any of them. Probably a good thing cause, did I mention it was hot? Our tour guides were great, both of Mayan descent. We learned a lot of the culture and people, and weren’t too terribly annoyed by all the people trying to get “tips” from the tourists for all of their native displays….though I kinda wanted to get a picture of Keith holding the giant iguana (for a small donation, or course). And the air-conditioned bus rides back and forth were awesome! It was a little warm out…

The rest of the Tulum pictures, and a little Playa del Carmen & Cozumel

Day 6: The last day we spent at sea, getting back to good old Port Canaveral. The day was relaxing. We slept a lot and hung out in the hot tub one more time. All –in-all, we had a wonderful time

and weren’t exactly ecstatic about going home. Luckily, I had a whole other week to sit around at home doing nothing and recover! Woohoo!

Day 4: Grand Cayman: Was crazy! We went on this insane tour where you go to the Turtle Farm, then the Rum Cake Factory, then Hell, then Stingray City! It was insane! First, we only had about an hour at the turtle farm, which included the 45 minute tour. We had a great time,

but I really wanted to try the turtle stew, just to try it! Oh, and Keith almost lost the camera, and his hand, when he refused to listen to the tour guide tell him that the turtles will go after anything put into the tank as they will think it’s food. But he got a great shot!

So we got to the bus on time….but no one else did! We had to wait 30 minutes for everyone else to get back. So that started us off late. Then we went to the rum cake factory…which was actually just this average-sized tourist trap. Ok, fine, I wanted to get a bunch of rum cakes anyway. Except for one small problem. In addition to the 30-40 people on our bus, there were about three other tours that stopped there at the same time! You couldn’t move, let along shop! That’s ok….we waited for everyone else AGAIN but we’ll have plenty of time after the tour to go shopping for rum cakes closer to the dock. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

On to the next stop, Hell, Grand Cayman.

It was ok. The biggest attraction was the post office/gift shop. Yeah, that time it was my fault that we stayed too late…

So then we arrive at the dock for our boat out to Stingray City. Oh yeah, it’ll be here in 10 minutes. And it’s not big enough for all of us. And the next one has a bad engine…By this time we are all a little nervous about our ship leaving without us. No, seriously! But we are assured that the company has a contract with the ship to 1. Give us our full excursion and 2. Get us on the ship. And they did. We were the 2nd to last tender….about 15 minutes after the cruise line told us the last tender would leave. Ah well, they didn’t leave us there!

The stingrays were pretty cool. It was basically a shallow sandbar, about 3-4 feet deep, and the wild stingrays hang out there because the tourists feed them. Yep, we fed them. Or at least Keith did. I stayed in the water for, oh, about 15 minutes…until about 5 stingrays the size of a patio umbrella (open people, not closed) all came up to me at once. They passed right up against my legs.

Well, except for the last one. He realized his mistake and veered off, his tail scratching my thigh. Ok, time for me to get out! Course, I got to pet Frisbee first, the tailless stingray! That’s my kind of stingray!

But Keith stayed in. He got to feed a few, too. Here’s a decent video of him feeding the stingrays.

We decided, next time, to stick with one or two spots instead of four!

Here are the rest of the pictures of Jamaica.